I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
