Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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