I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So much rum. So many feels.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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