She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
