So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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