so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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