What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
