You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
