yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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