I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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