playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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