I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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