I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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