I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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