Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
