when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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