Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
