Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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