hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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