i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Sorry about my life...
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
