Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
