drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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