We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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