Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
BRING THE BAGELS
Why is there bacon in the couch?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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