Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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