all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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