i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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