It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
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