just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
