another moral hangover. fuck.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
