dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
