remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
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you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
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We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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