:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
