he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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