those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
