i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
