turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
