So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
