Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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