ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
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