She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
