Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
