My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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