these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
