Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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