i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize