I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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