so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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