so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
