Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
