Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
