We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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