didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
