Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
