Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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