they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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