You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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