we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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