There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he wants to bone in the snuggie
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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