He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
