I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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