You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
