First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
